HAPPY FUCKING HUMP DAY. I'm back!
I am in a god awful mood today. Coworkers don't understand how to be on time for a meeting, and when they realize they are going to be late, they choose to NOT email you to let you know. Assholes.
The idea of today's sassy, bitchy blog came from a close friend of mine from my hometown. Apparently her mother's friend started a GFM, but due to privacy settings on her Facebook, I was unable to locate hers. So I went searching and found today's from Brazoria, Texas. Sounds exotic. Devin is in a conundrum. She wants to lose weight so she is getting weight loss surgery. Her insurance covers her expenses, but the deductibles are really getting to her and she will greatly "except" any amount that can be given to her. Cute. She is seeking $8,000 for her various expenses.
Disclaimer: Anything written here is solely for entertainment purposes. By no means is the writer of this blog shaming those who decide a weight loss surgery is for them. This writer has several loved ones that have gone through different weight loss surgeries and supports them 100%. However, don't ask the general public for $8,000.
Devin, of all the weight loss GFM pages I came across, I chose to pick on you because of your awful grammar. It's really, really awful. (But please know I'm secretly cheering for you as you take this journey to become healthier. I'm just going to make fun of your page for a bit.)
What in the flying fuck. No. No. No. $8,000? I'm not an insurance expert, but what kind of healthcare do you have that you have a $8,000 deductible? No. I'm calling bullshit right here Devin.
As with most of the GFM pages I come across, what clicks inside your brain to ask the general public for funds to pay for your past mistakes? As Lady Gaga once said, we were born this way. No, we really fucking weren't. We may have been born with the love of donuts, bagels, Costco pizza and cream-based pasta sauces, but we were not born obese. Those were choices made along the course of our lives. Your choices, your problems. Change your lifestyle or pay for your own fucking surgery.
Your page states you're reaching out to friends and family for support. Ok, I understand that. They should support you. But send an email or make an announcement at fucking Thanksgiving dinner or something. A GFM page with a few cute pictures and poor grammar is just tacky and makes me want to drink.
Along with other issues that a large majority of people suffer with (depression, anxiety, self-confidence, etc), obesity is not something to make fun of. It's hurtful and nothing positive will come of it. But when you choose to ask for $8,000 in funds to support a surgery that you truly do not need, you deserve a few comical pokes. Save the money and pay for it yourself or suffer through a diet, exercise and lifestyle change. This is something that can be changed through your own will power and determination. Check yourself, get to fucking Planet Fitness, join Weight Watchers, do whatever you need to. With the $690 you've raised so far, I would suggest taking a basic English class at your local community college to work on the grammar.
xo
http://www.gofundme.com/9uxrto
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Pay Sam $40,000 to do God's work for a year!
I'm back!
I apologize for the temporary hiatus. A lack of creativity for a short bit, but here I am!
As always, a short synopsis of why these people are asking for money. The link to the actual page will be found at the bottom of this posting. Today's shameful request comes from a trick in northern California. Her name is Sam. Sam moved to Hawaii to do God's work and it really inspired her to move forward with her organization she was working with. She "landed" a year long "internship" in Texas with said organization but is asking us all to pray and donate, as she needs to provide her own salary. She moves this month to Texas to take on the daunting task of interning for free and doing the Lord's work. She needs approximately $40,000.
Oh Jesus Christ and all who are Holy. Sam, fuck you. I watched 1 minute and 43 seconds of your introduction video and chose not to continue. I did notice you had links to other videos and a blog, but that makes me want to drink the Blood of Christ and I'm really trying to maintain a temporary sobriety here.
Disclaimer: The writer of this posting is not shaming anyone of a religious background or for choosing to do religious work. They are shaming for the request of $40,000.
Sam. You're an idiot. I have many friends that actually work and don't make $40,000 per year. They contribute to society. They cry. The have their ups and downs. They leave work at the end of the day having done something and earned it. I won't pretend to know what you're doing in Texas. Sounds like a cult to me. If you want my opinion, put on a canvas gown and pick tomatoes with the other members.
I find it morally disgusting for you to ask for money for the Lord's work. How about you make a campaign and raise awareness about how places of worship for the Lord (a fucking church) do not pay taxes. Those taxes can be used to send you to your fucking internship. Seriously girl, $40,000?! How dare you. Have you ever worked a day in your life? Have you seen how much it takes to earn $40,000? Or have you been busy praying that a gym bag full of cash will fall from the sky and smack you in the face? Sounds like a bad episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
When I took on the task of completing my graduate studies, I was contractually obligated not to accept a working position outside of the university. I earned $302 every two weeks. It was barely enough to survive/pay rent/invest in pink lemonade Burnetts, so I opened a low interest credit card. And do you know what happened? I fucking paid it off with my first big boy pay check. With your current attitude, I have a feeling you don't want to earn your way into a job that will allow you to pay your bills, so I apologize for boring you with my own story.
Unsure of how you raised $13,000+ and why others agree with this cause. If you want to do your "internship (it's not an internship), live in poverty for the year and get a side job at Golden Corral and greet everyone as they come in after Church to chow down and pray to the Lord.
Peace and blessings to you babe. May the Lord grant you the additional funds you need to continue His work xo
Have you discovered a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
https://ifternship.dntly.com/campaign/2465#/
I apologize for the temporary hiatus. A lack of creativity for a short bit, but here I am!
As always, a short synopsis of why these people are asking for money. The link to the actual page will be found at the bottom of this posting. Today's shameful request comes from a trick in northern California. Her name is Sam. Sam moved to Hawaii to do God's work and it really inspired her to move forward with her organization she was working with. She "landed" a year long "internship" in Texas with said organization but is asking us all to pray and donate, as she needs to provide her own salary. She moves this month to Texas to take on the daunting task of interning for free and doing the Lord's work. She needs approximately $40,000.
Oh Jesus Christ and all who are Holy. Sam, fuck you. I watched 1 minute and 43 seconds of your introduction video and chose not to continue. I did notice you had links to other videos and a blog, but that makes me want to drink the Blood of Christ and I'm really trying to maintain a temporary sobriety here.
Disclaimer: The writer of this posting is not shaming anyone of a religious background or for choosing to do religious work. They are shaming for the request of $40,000.
Sam. You're an idiot. I have many friends that actually work and don't make $40,000 per year. They contribute to society. They cry. The have their ups and downs. They leave work at the end of the day having done something and earned it. I won't pretend to know what you're doing in Texas. Sounds like a cult to me. If you want my opinion, put on a canvas gown and pick tomatoes with the other members.
I find it morally disgusting for you to ask for money for the Lord's work. How about you make a campaign and raise awareness about how places of worship for the Lord (a fucking church) do not pay taxes. Those taxes can be used to send you to your fucking internship. Seriously girl, $40,000?! How dare you. Have you ever worked a day in your life? Have you seen how much it takes to earn $40,000? Or have you been busy praying that a gym bag full of cash will fall from the sky and smack you in the face? Sounds like a bad episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
When I took on the task of completing my graduate studies, I was contractually obligated not to accept a working position outside of the university. I earned $302 every two weeks. It was barely enough to survive/pay rent/invest in pink lemonade Burnetts, so I opened a low interest credit card. And do you know what happened? I fucking paid it off with my first big boy pay check. With your current attitude, I have a feeling you don't want to earn your way into a job that will allow you to pay your bills, so I apologize for boring you with my own story.
Unsure of how you raised $13,000+ and why others agree with this cause. If you want to do your "internship (it's not an internship), live in poverty for the year and get a side job at Golden Corral and greet everyone as they come in after Church to chow down and pray to the Lord.
Peace and blessings to you babe. May the Lord grant you the additional funds you need to continue His work xo
Have you discovered a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
https://ifternship.dntly.com/campaign/2465#/
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Help Santa go to Santa University
Happy Fucking Hump Day.
Your sassy, bitchy blogger is sorry for the delay in postings! Today's topic of interest comes from Port Townsend, Washington. Rick has been an amateur Santa (?) for twenty years and must go to Santa University (....what) to become a real Santa. He needs $5,000 for food, lodging, airfare and his wife's needs while he is gone. Retirement has been a struggle for Rick and Mrs. Claus (Connie) . They're old and in debt. The extra income from being a real Santa will help them get out of debt. So precious.
Oh my goodness. What the hell? Rick has raised $3,200 of his $5,000 goal. Kudos to you, Rick. I appreciate your spirit and your love for Christmas, even if it's because you earn your retirement funds from it. But seriously, who are these people donating $3,200?
Disclaimer: Everything written here is solely for entertainment purposes. The writer of this blog posting is not shaming people who love Christmas, Santa Claus, or poor, elderly people. This writer is just baffled.
Ok Rick. Because you're old and your picture on your GFM is pretty darn cute (and because my sister has a very warm spot in her heart for cute old grandpas) I'm going to take it easy on you and just share your page, while laughing at you just a bit.
Rick, I'll get to the point. Tell Connie to get a damn job. The part that gets me on your request for money is that you need to be able to take care of your wife's needs. So, should your page be called, "Help Santa go to Santa University and pay for Connie's groceries and morning coffee with the girls"? I think you're deceiving the general public, Santa. You don't need $5,000. You just want to be a man and take care of your woman. Well fuck you for lying to us all. Get Connie set up with her GFM. "Help pay my bills while husband goes to Santa Camp". If Connie can't work/too elderly/can't drive/etc, get her set up with one of those It Works accounts. She can sell shit online. I don't want to be the one to say it, but you should plan your whole life for retirement. Fail to plan, plan to fail.
Rick, best of luck. If you promise me you'll be like that Santa from "A Christmas Story" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwGYfMVKQtQ ), I'll come visit you one day and we can laugh about this hilarious blog. Hire a scary elf too, to scare all those little shits.
Much Christmas spirit to you, Rick. But I'm still standing by my original viewpoint that Connie needs a damn job. Cheers xo
http://www.gofundme.com/4v5n72n8gc
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
Follow on Twitter! @gofundmeshaming
Your sassy, bitchy blogger is sorry for the delay in postings! Today's topic of interest comes from Port Townsend, Washington. Rick has been an amateur Santa (?) for twenty years and must go to Santa University (....what) to become a real Santa. He needs $5,000 for food, lodging, airfare and his wife's needs while he is gone. Retirement has been a struggle for Rick and Mrs. Claus (Connie) . They're old and in debt. The extra income from being a real Santa will help them get out of debt. So precious.
Oh my goodness. What the hell? Rick has raised $3,200 of his $5,000 goal. Kudos to you, Rick. I appreciate your spirit and your love for Christmas, even if it's because you earn your retirement funds from it. But seriously, who are these people donating $3,200?
Disclaimer: Everything written here is solely for entertainment purposes. The writer of this blog posting is not shaming people who love Christmas, Santa Claus, or poor, elderly people. This writer is just baffled.
Ok Rick. Because you're old and your picture on your GFM is pretty darn cute (and because my sister has a very warm spot in her heart for cute old grandpas) I'm going to take it easy on you and just share your page, while laughing at you just a bit.
Rick, I'll get to the point. Tell Connie to get a damn job. The part that gets me on your request for money is that you need to be able to take care of your wife's needs. So, should your page be called, "Help Santa go to Santa University and pay for Connie's groceries and morning coffee with the girls"? I think you're deceiving the general public, Santa. You don't need $5,000. You just want to be a man and take care of your woman. Well fuck you for lying to us all. Get Connie set up with her GFM. "Help pay my bills while husband goes to Santa Camp". If Connie can't work/too elderly/can't drive/etc, get her set up with one of those It Works accounts. She can sell shit online. I don't want to be the one to say it, but you should plan your whole life for retirement. Fail to plan, plan to fail.
Rick, best of luck. If you promise me you'll be like that Santa from "A Christmas Story" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwGYfMVKQtQ ), I'll come visit you one day and we can laugh about this hilarious blog. Hire a scary elf too, to scare all those little shits.
Much Christmas spirit to you, Rick. But I'm still standing by my original viewpoint that Connie needs a damn job. Cheers xo
http://www.gofundme.com/4v5n72n8gc
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
Follow on Twitter! @gofundmeshaming
Monday, August 10, 2015
Contribute to Erin's "Divorce Fund"!
Good morning! It's Monday. I had a nice weekend. Enjoyed some martinis. Went to a wedding. Got some new candles (http://chandlercandle.com/ ). Watched a Liza Minnelli biography. Ate some chicken nuggets. Such a treat.
Today's GFM comes all the way from Murrells Inlet, South Carolina (....MURRELLS Inlet???) and sent to me by my friend Berta (Berta is a code name we made up in high school many moons ago. I don't actually know anyone called Berta). Everyone, meet Erin!
Erin married the man she was going to be with forever in 2013. In 2014 he started seeing another woman. In the beginning of 2015, he left Erin for his new whore. She's still in school and needs $2,000 for her divorce attorney and needs to move into the dorms, which is another $2,500. She says her student loans don't cover residence hall expenses. Erin has a few piercings and multi-colored hair and tattoos on her chest.
Oh dear. Where to start. Unless Ms. Erin is a non-traditional student, she would be starting her college studies around the age 18. Maybe 19. maybe 17. Let's guess 18, for median purposes. Per Erin, college began in the Fall of 2014. She was married in 2013, making her 17 at the age of marriage.
Things you can't do at age 17:
- Buy booze
- Go into the armed forces
- Buy cancer sticks
- Buy electronic cancer sticks
- Vote
- Go into a club
Things you shouldn't be able to do at age 17:
- Get fucking married
In order to avoid an overflow of profanity and harsh words, I will tell you exactly what I tell everyone I know. If you're going to be moving that fast and getting yourself caught up in the nonsense of premature holy matrimony, insure yourself and get a fucking prenuptial agreement. Love is love, and divorce is divorce. I don't feel sorry for you. Young and stupid - you need insurance on something like this. If you had thought this through, you wouldn't have to ask the general public for money.
Disclaimer: These posting are meant solely for entertainment purposes. In no way, shape or form do I think all marriages require a prenuptial agreement. I believe many couples will be/are happy and comfortable without a legal document securing future finances in case of a dissolution of the marriage. However, at age 17 (assumption), either wait until you know that flame won't flicker out, dump the loser or get a goddamn prenup.
Erin, I'm sorry you're broke and your hubby left you for his new whore. I'm also sorry that your residence hall is expensive. But don't whine, you need to live there. It's part of college and you sound like you have a lot of learning to do. You'll meet friends and maybe even your future hunny. You'll eat delicious fried chicken tenders in the cafeteria, drink Franzia with your suitemates in a shitty little bathroom, fall out of bed drunk from drinking too much of said Franzia, get written up for playing your showtunes too loud, get in a fight with your roommate for stealing your Arbonne facial scrub, make friends with the baseball boys across the hall, watch the girl down the hall snort an Adderall off her math book as an act of defiance, and so much more. The residence halls are just magical.
Also, do your research more carefully babe. Your student loans will cover about anything. My old roommate bought Lacoste sheets in Miami during Spring Break with some of his student loan money.
I browsed your Facebook Erin. How much did those piercings and earrings cost? And those colorful tattoos across your chest? And those multi-colored streaks in your hair? Unless you're dipping your head in kool-aid (is that what the trashy people used in high school to dye their hair? I think it was kool-aid), you really need to stop. Actually, you need to stop whether it's kool-aid or not. It looks awful, an attorney won't take you seriously looking like that, and those $.96 packets of sugary drink mix add up over time. No more hair dye. No more piercings. No more tattoos. Too expensive! If you remove this GFM page, you can get all piercings/dye/tattoos you want!
Are you working? When college students say they can't work because they're too busy, they'd better be triple majoring and a 4.0 student. I'll assume that isn't you. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you can earn a few thousand dollars to help cover your expenses and keep your attorney fees from adding up. Get a fucking job. If you have one, get a second one <3
As of 9:40am CST, 8/10/15, Erin's Divorce Fund has raised $800. Baffling. Erin, I wish you the best of luck in those residence halls. I'm still paying my college bills, as are the majority of my friends and contacts. Get over it. Cheers, and happy Monday xo
http://www.gofundme.com/g86x8k4m8c
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
Follow on Twitter: @gofundmeshaming
Today's GFM comes all the way from Murrells Inlet, South Carolina (....MURRELLS Inlet???) and sent to me by my friend Berta (Berta is a code name we made up in high school many moons ago. I don't actually know anyone called Berta). Everyone, meet Erin!
Erin married the man she was going to be with forever in 2013. In 2014 he started seeing another woman. In the beginning of 2015, he left Erin for his new whore. She's still in school and needs $2,000 for her divorce attorney and needs to move into the dorms, which is another $2,500. She says her student loans don't cover residence hall expenses. Erin has a few piercings and multi-colored hair and tattoos on her chest.
Oh dear. Where to start. Unless Ms. Erin is a non-traditional student, she would be starting her college studies around the age 18. Maybe 19. maybe 17. Let's guess 18, for median purposes. Per Erin, college began in the Fall of 2014. She was married in 2013, making her 17 at the age of marriage.
Things you can't do at age 17:
- Buy booze
- Go into the armed forces
- Buy cancer sticks
- Buy electronic cancer sticks
- Vote
- Go into a club
Things you shouldn't be able to do at age 17:
- Get fucking married
In order to avoid an overflow of profanity and harsh words, I will tell you exactly what I tell everyone I know. If you're going to be moving that fast and getting yourself caught up in the nonsense of premature holy matrimony, insure yourself and get a fucking prenuptial agreement. Love is love, and divorce is divorce. I don't feel sorry for you. Young and stupid - you need insurance on something like this. If you had thought this through, you wouldn't have to ask the general public for money.
Disclaimer: These posting are meant solely for entertainment purposes. In no way, shape or form do I think all marriages require a prenuptial agreement. I believe many couples will be/are happy and comfortable without a legal document securing future finances in case of a dissolution of the marriage. However, at age 17 (assumption), either wait until you know that flame won't flicker out, dump the loser or get a goddamn prenup.
Erin, I'm sorry you're broke and your hubby left you for his new whore. I'm also sorry that your residence hall is expensive. But don't whine, you need to live there. It's part of college and you sound like you have a lot of learning to do. You'll meet friends and maybe even your future hunny. You'll eat delicious fried chicken tenders in the cafeteria, drink Franzia with your suitemates in a shitty little bathroom, fall out of bed drunk from drinking too much of said Franzia, get written up for playing your showtunes too loud, get in a fight with your roommate for stealing your Arbonne facial scrub, make friends with the baseball boys across the hall, watch the girl down the hall snort an Adderall off her math book as an act of defiance, and so much more. The residence halls are just magical.
Also, do your research more carefully babe. Your student loans will cover about anything. My old roommate bought Lacoste sheets in Miami during Spring Break with some of his student loan money.
I browsed your Facebook Erin. How much did those piercings and earrings cost? And those colorful tattoos across your chest? And those multi-colored streaks in your hair? Unless you're dipping your head in kool-aid (is that what the trashy people used in high school to dye their hair? I think it was kool-aid), you really need to stop. Actually, you need to stop whether it's kool-aid or not. It looks awful, an attorney won't take you seriously looking like that, and those $.96 packets of sugary drink mix add up over time. No more hair dye. No more piercings. No more tattoos. Too expensive! If you remove this GFM page, you can get all piercings/dye/tattoos you want!
Are you working? When college students say they can't work because they're too busy, they'd better be triple majoring and a 4.0 student. I'll assume that isn't you. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you can earn a few thousand dollars to help cover your expenses and keep your attorney fees from adding up. Get a fucking job. If you have one, get a second one <3
As of 9:40am CST, 8/10/15, Erin's Divorce Fund has raised $800. Baffling. Erin, I wish you the best of luck in those residence halls. I'm still paying my college bills, as are the majority of my friends and contacts. Get over it. Cheers, and happy Monday xo
http://www.gofundme.com/g86x8k4m8c
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
Follow on Twitter: @gofundmeshaming
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Help Francesca and her cat buy a bed!
Happy Saturday! Or should I say........CATurday?
Today's posting comes to us from Connecticut. Francesca and her cat really need a bed. They can't afford to buy one because they are expensive, and they are tired of sleeping on the floor. Air mattresses make Francesca ache and her kitty pops them. She sounds smart.
Francesca has since posted an update, saying an "Angel" has purchased her and her kitty a bed. But, she would still like $500 to buy a boxspring and a bed frame. I'm going to move forward with laughing at her.
I can't stop laughing at this one. I really don't even (unfortunately) have anything poor to say about it. It's just too fucking funny. The actual GFM is called "get us off thefloor" (yes, she forgot to put a space between the and floor) and it's a picture of her adorable cat. And it has raised zero dollars. Here is one of her updates:
"Hey y'all, please help us out with this! We REALLY do need a bed, and can't seem to afford it. Anything you can afford to help us would be GREATLY appreciated!" God love her.
In Francesca's defense, those pesky air mattresses really do pop. Let me tell you all a story (yes it is 100% true). A dear friend of mine adopted/stole a cancer-stricken emotional-assistance cat from her 8 year old neighbor in college. The parents didn't know how to lock their front door and the cat kept escaping so my friend just kept her. She named the cat Justine :)
Moving on, my friend slept on a luxurious air mattress. Not one of those shitty ones that homeless people use on camping trips, but a really nice one with different settings. Once Justine moved in, it was all over. She was enjoying her nightly dinner of a cut up hot dog and proceeded to jump onto the bed, instantly popping it. My friend struggled with waking up on "thefloor" every morning. So I get it Francesca.
Sadly, Justine had to be put to sleep three days after my friend lovingly "adopted" her, because the shitty original pet parents didn't take her to the vet EVER and she was suffering from cancer of the ear. RIP Justine.
I'm still laughing. If you are so inclined, please click the link to go to the actual GFM page. The grammar is poor, the formatting is ugly, and the cat is just adorable. Baffled why Francesca felt the need to start a GFM to buy a bed.
I'll give Francesca a break, because it's Saturday, I'm hungover, and her cat is fucking cute. Good luck with the fundraising for your box spring and bed frame. If you want my opinion though, get a fucking job and buy your own shit. xo
http://www.gofundme.com/ztv5wc3k
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
And follow us on our new Twitter! @gofundmeshaming
Today's posting comes to us from Connecticut. Francesca and her cat really need a bed. They can't afford to buy one because they are expensive, and they are tired of sleeping on the floor. Air mattresses make Francesca ache and her kitty pops them. She sounds smart.
Francesca has since posted an update, saying an "Angel" has purchased her and her kitty a bed. But, she would still like $500 to buy a boxspring and a bed frame. I'm going to move forward with laughing at her.
I can't stop laughing at this one. I really don't even (unfortunately) have anything poor to say about it. It's just too fucking funny. The actual GFM is called "get us off thefloor" (yes, she forgot to put a space between the and floor) and it's a picture of her adorable cat. And it has raised zero dollars. Here is one of her updates:
"Hey y'all, please help us out with this! We REALLY do need a bed, and can't seem to afford it. Anything you can afford to help us would be GREATLY appreciated!" God love her.
In Francesca's defense, those pesky air mattresses really do pop. Let me tell you all a story (yes it is 100% true). A dear friend of mine adopted/stole a cancer-stricken emotional-assistance cat from her 8 year old neighbor in college. The parents didn't know how to lock their front door and the cat kept escaping so my friend just kept her. She named the cat Justine :)
Moving on, my friend slept on a luxurious air mattress. Not one of those shitty ones that homeless people use on camping trips, but a really nice one with different settings. Once Justine moved in, it was all over. She was enjoying her nightly dinner of a cut up hot dog and proceeded to jump onto the bed, instantly popping it. My friend struggled with waking up on "thefloor" every morning. So I get it Francesca.
Sadly, Justine had to be put to sleep three days after my friend lovingly "adopted" her, because the shitty original pet parents didn't take her to the vet EVER and she was suffering from cancer of the ear. RIP Justine.
I'm still laughing. If you are so inclined, please click the link to go to the actual GFM page. The grammar is poor, the formatting is ugly, and the cat is just adorable. Baffled why Francesca felt the need to start a GFM to buy a bed.
I'll give Francesca a break, because it's Saturday, I'm hungover, and her cat is fucking cute. Good luck with the fundraising for your box spring and bed frame. If you want my opinion though, get a fucking job and buy your own shit. xo
http://www.gofundme.com/ztv5wc3k
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
And follow us on our new Twitter! @gofundmeshaming
Friday, August 7, 2015
Pay for Carrie's $2000 squirrel tattoo and pretzels!
Happy Friday my sassy friends! Are any of you drunk yet? It's 11am somewhere....
Today's posting comes from Pennsylvania and may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Per usual, the link to the actual GFM page is at the bottom of this posting, and as always, I will give you a small summary.
Carrie is going through a midlife crisis. She is finishing her PhD, working too hard, being a mom, running a photography business and just really wants to do something CRAZY for herself! Her bucket list includes two things: raising money online and getting a squirrel tattoo. (I have to throw in that in my opinion, that is the dullest bucket list anyone has ever come up with. However, none of my business!) In Carrie's words, the tattoo is "a masterpiece of creativity and BA-ness as a trophy of my own uniqueness, perseverance and a 3 second attention span". She really doesn't want to use "'family money" so she needs to raise $2000 for the tattoo, tip, and for the snacks that she likes to bring to her sessions. These include purple gatorade and pretzels! I wonder if pretzel is code word for narcotic?
But DON'T WORRY, she is covering her own gas and mileage :)
Oh. Good. Fucking. Lord. I had to read this several times to ensure it wasn't a troll asking for money. Nope, 100% real. Carrie's just sort of fucked up. That's all.
Disclaimer: Everything here is written solely for entertainment purposes. In no way am I putting down anyone that chooses to tattoo their body. Some of my best friends are tattooed all over and I love them the same as if they weren't tatted up. Your body, your prerogative. Everyone values art in different ways and that makes the world a better place. However, don't ask the general public for $2,000 for your shitty squirrel and fucking pretzels.
I am troubled where to start with my new fucked up friend Carrie. $615 of her $2000 goal has been met. I'd like to meet some of these dumbasses. I just don't get it.
When it comes to financials, Carrie doesn't want to use family money for her tattoo. Why? You want to do something crazy for yourself, your family should support you. You say you work hard, why can't you afford your own shitty tattoo? Or at least your own bottle of purple gatorade? Do you really need those pretzels? I went to the grocery yesterday and purposely bought a bag of pretzels for myself, simply because it means one less bag of pretzels for you. Buy your own fucking pretzels.
What made you decide on a squirrel? You said it's a masterpiece of creativity, but I don't get it. I ran over a squirrel with my bike the other day. Didn't look like that much of a masterpiece to me. Do you remember the scene from Disney's Sword in the Stone? When Merlin and the kid turn into squirrels? ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cMp-RgIPT0 ) If you got a tattoo of the fat old lady squirrel that doesn't know how to talk, and you put it on your ass, I might be on board with this "creativity" boat. But I'm not, because it's a shitty way to use $2,000.
Carrie wants us to know that if we donate $50 or more, we get access to a private Facebook group and a signed photograph of her finished squirrel tattoo................
Who the fuck gave this woman a PhD? I wouldn't pay 3 cents for a picture of said shitty tattoo.
I'm at a loss for words. Carrie's idea of a "creative masterpiece" has killed my own creativity, as I simply have no hope for the human race. Carrie, your tattoo and pretzels/narcotics aren't worth $2,000. My last comment on it? Use your own fucking money. Cheers babe xo
P.S. Here is a picture of her almost finished tattoo. I saved you all $50. You can forge your own signature any way you want.
http://www.gofundme.com/briqxw
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
And follow us on our new Twitter account! @gofundmeshaming
Today's posting comes from Pennsylvania and may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Per usual, the link to the actual GFM page is at the bottom of this posting, and as always, I will give you a small summary.
Carrie is going through a midlife crisis. She is finishing her PhD, working too hard, being a mom, running a photography business and just really wants to do something CRAZY for herself! Her bucket list includes two things: raising money online and getting a squirrel tattoo. (I have to throw in that in my opinion, that is the dullest bucket list anyone has ever come up with. However, none of my business!) In Carrie's words, the tattoo is "a masterpiece of creativity and BA-ness as a trophy of my own uniqueness, perseverance and a 3 second attention span". She really doesn't want to use "'family money" so she needs to raise $2000 for the tattoo, tip, and for the snacks that she likes to bring to her sessions. These include purple gatorade and pretzels! I wonder if pretzel is code word for narcotic?
But DON'T WORRY, she is covering her own gas and mileage :)
Oh. Good. Fucking. Lord. I had to read this several times to ensure it wasn't a troll asking for money. Nope, 100% real. Carrie's just sort of fucked up. That's all.
Disclaimer: Everything here is written solely for entertainment purposes. In no way am I putting down anyone that chooses to tattoo their body. Some of my best friends are tattooed all over and I love them the same as if they weren't tatted up. Your body, your prerogative. Everyone values art in different ways and that makes the world a better place. However, don't ask the general public for $2,000 for your shitty squirrel and fucking pretzels.
I am troubled where to start with my new fucked up friend Carrie. $615 of her $2000 goal has been met. I'd like to meet some of these dumbasses. I just don't get it.
When it comes to financials, Carrie doesn't want to use family money for her tattoo. Why? You want to do something crazy for yourself, your family should support you. You say you work hard, why can't you afford your own shitty tattoo? Or at least your own bottle of purple gatorade? Do you really need those pretzels? I went to the grocery yesterday and purposely bought a bag of pretzels for myself, simply because it means one less bag of pretzels for you. Buy your own fucking pretzels.
What made you decide on a squirrel? You said it's a masterpiece of creativity, but I don't get it. I ran over a squirrel with my bike the other day. Didn't look like that much of a masterpiece to me. Do you remember the scene from Disney's Sword in the Stone? When Merlin and the kid turn into squirrels? ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cMp-RgIPT0 ) If you got a tattoo of the fat old lady squirrel that doesn't know how to talk, and you put it on your ass, I might be on board with this "creativity" boat. But I'm not, because it's a shitty way to use $2,000.
Carrie wants us to know that if we donate $50 or more, we get access to a private Facebook group and a signed photograph of her finished squirrel tattoo................
Who the fuck gave this woman a PhD? I wouldn't pay 3 cents for a picture of said shitty tattoo.
I'm at a loss for words. Carrie's idea of a "creative masterpiece" has killed my own creativity, as I simply have no hope for the human race. Carrie, your tattoo and pretzels/narcotics aren't worth $2,000. My last comment on it? Use your own fucking money. Cheers babe xo
P.S. Here is a picture of her almost finished tattoo. I saved you all $50. You can forge your own signature any way you want.
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
And follow us on our new Twitter account! @gofundmeshaming
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Pay for Sonia's flight home from Paris to go to a wedding!
Good morning and happy fucking Thursday!
Today's posting comes all the way from Paris, France. To sum it
up, Sonia wants to fly home from Paris to attend a wedding in Boston this
weekend but she is flying standby (for those folk out there that need
clarification, she doesn't have a confirmed ticket and was more than likely
banking on flying for free on an airline employee's buddy pass) and *gasp* ALL
OF THE FLIGHTS ARE FULL. Well who would have thought that? The summer months
aren't the busiest times for air travel to Europe or anything. What a genius.
Anywho, she was forced to buy a last minute ticket and those are really
expensive, so her friend Lindsey in Seattle started a GFM to raise some money
for her. What a treat of a friend. In just two days, the goal of $500 was
surpassed. Sonia now has $850 for her ticket. Seriously, what a fucking treat.
Oh dear. Where to start. First, Sonia, you must be really, really
loved to have 21 people donate to your "Help me, I'm stuck in Paris and
can't get to Boston for this wedding". I can't shame you for that. I
really can't shame you for any of it since you didn't even create it. It's just
more fun this way because you were dumb and didn’t buy a fucking ticket.
Disclaimer: Anything and everything written is solely for
entertainment purposes. In no way, shape or form is the writer of this blog
entry actually pissed off at these people. This individual just finds it really
fucking ridiculous.
Now, Sonia. Honestly sweetie, what the hell were you thinking? If
you are smart enough to figure out the buddy/companion pass system that the
major airlines use, you're smart enough to know that you probably aren't going
to get on a weekend standby flight from Europe (Paris' Charles de Gauelle,
nonetheless) to a coastal city in the United States unless you're extremely
lucky, or have a crazy high seniority. The only word that comes to mind at this
point is stupid. Fail to plan, plan to fail. Simple as that babe.
Next, what the fuck are you doing in Paris? Are you living there?
Visiting friends? Enjoying fine wine and cheeses? Visiting my friend Mona?
Regardless, all of those things have one common factor: pretty damn expensive.
If you knew you had a wedding 3,000 miles away in Boston, why aren't you saving
your money? How did you get to Paris in the first place? Did you fly standby?
Who was paying the hotel bills or the rent? How much is this "last
minute" ticket costing you? Is it a round trip ticket? If it's a one way,
are you planning on trying to fly standby back to Paris? So many questions!
It's like Jeopardy, but for dumb people who ask the general public for money so
they can log another 3,000 miles in their frequent flier accounts.
When I was in graduate school, I had a destination wedding for a
dear friend in Mexico. At the time, I was bringing in $308 every two weeks on
my stipend. I could not afford that trip. However, I saved strategically and I
managed to go. Had GFM been around back then, do you know what I would have
done differently? Absolutely fucking nothing. It isn't anyone's responsibility
but your own. Again, fail to plan, plan to fail. Remember that, Ms. Sonia!
Enjoy your wedding. I hope you have a nice flight to and from
Paris. When you get back, hopefully you’ll have some leftover money to go do
something touristy or buy a nice block of French cheese. The rest of us
commoners will be going to Olive Garden and Mon Ami Gabi to satisfy our
cultural taste buds. Do you know why? Because we don't ask for fucking money to
fly across the world. Cheers! (I'm sipping my $6 wine from Costco. It comes
from a French vineyard, so it's almost like I'm there with you!) xo
Have you stumbled across a page that seems unnecessary? Send them
my way! gofundmeshaming@gmail.com
And follow us on our new Twitter account! @gofundmeshaming
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