Your sassy, bitchy blogger is sorry for the delay in postings! Today's topic of interest comes from Port Townsend, Washington. Rick has been an amateur Santa (?) for twenty years and must go to Santa University (....what) to become a real Santa. He needs $5,000 for food, lodging, airfare and his wife's needs while he is gone. Retirement has been a struggle for Rick and Mrs. Claus (Connie) . They're old and in debt. The extra income from being a real Santa will help them get out of debt. So precious.
Oh my goodness. What the hell? Rick has raised $3,200 of his $5,000 goal. Kudos to you, Rick. I appreciate your spirit and your love for Christmas, even if it's because you earn your retirement funds from it. But seriously, who are these people donating $3,200?
Disclaimer: Everything written here is solely for entertainment purposes. The writer of this blog posting is not shaming people who love Christmas, Santa Claus, or poor, elderly people. This writer is just baffled.
Ok Rick. Because you're old and your picture on your GFM is pretty darn cute (and because my sister has a very warm spot in her heart for cute old grandpas) I'm going to take it easy on you and just share your page, while laughing at you just a bit.
Rick, I'll get to the point. Tell Connie to get a damn job. The part that gets me on your request for money is that you need to be able to take care of your wife's needs. So, should your page be called, "Help Santa go to Santa University and pay for Connie's groceries and morning coffee with the girls"? I think you're deceiving the general public, Santa. You don't need $5,000. You just want to be a man and take care of your woman. Well fuck you for lying to us all. Get Connie set up with her GFM. "Help pay my bills while husband goes to Santa Camp". If Connie can't work/too elderly/can't drive/etc, get her set up with one of those It Works accounts. She can sell shit online. I don't want to be the one to say it, but you should plan your whole life for retirement. Fail to plan, plan to fail.
Rick, best of luck. If you promise me you'll be like that Santa from "A Christmas Story" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwGYfMVKQtQ ), I'll come visit you one day and we can laugh about this hilarious blog. Hire a scary elf too, to scare all those little shits.
Much Christmas spirit to you, Rick. But I'm still standing by my original viewpoint that Connie needs a damn job. Cheers xo
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